There are rumours that the saying, “Blood is thicker than water” originally started out as, “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. While it’s hard to know if this is true or not, as there are lots of conflicting theories and accounts, and according to Wikipedia, ‘no known historical sources support this’, I personally prefer this version. ‘Blood is thicker than water’ is often used to suggest that family comes before anything else. If you have a healthy, functional family, this is fine. But if your background is a little messier, this can add salt to existing wounds.
‘The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb’ suggests that the bonds you choose to form are stronger than the ones you had no choice over, and I think that’s pretty powerful.
If there is a toxic person in your life, it can be very difficult, and not always possible, to cut ties with them. I have had to do this myself, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made, but it may not be the right decision for everyone. If you are unable to cut someone toxic out of your life for any reason, it’s important to find coping strategies which work for you, to get you through any amount of time you have to spend with them. Whether it’s confronting them about their behaviour, talking to another family member or friend about it, or simply reminding yourself that it is entirely their problem, and not yours. I cannot offer you the answers, as everyone’s situation is different, I’m just here to tell you that it’s important to look after yourself, in any way that works for you. You are worthy, you are enough.
It’s also important to note that this time of year can be particularly difficult for people in the LGBTQ+ community, Christmas is supposed to be a time for family to come together, but if they don’t accept you for who you are then the emphasis put on family can be even more isolating. If you know someone who is unwilling or unable to spend time with their family for Christmas, please reach out and make sure they know they aren’t alone.